How quickly we forget

I am 6 weeks into a pretty nasty separation from Not-Romeo (of all the names I could think of for him that was the most bloggable!) and I started to miss him last night. I see him most days and it is rarely a pleasure and we had a row yesterday morning so what on earth my head was doing thinking of him fondly last night is beyond my comprehension. He came over to collect the babies this morning and my first instinct was to hug him! Seriously, what is wrong with me? I should thank him though as he was kind enough to remind me instantly of why I have to get away from this guy, he is good like that. So why start a blog? Well I wrote a blog for a short while 4 years ago and when I look back at it I realise how desperately I was already trying to hide from myself the problems in my marriage. I am now living in Not-Romeo's home town, with two beautiful babies, completely isolated from any support with the exception of my amazing family who live an hour away and my even more fabulous sister who lives in a different country. I am trying to balance working, desperately scrambling to make mortgage payments on a negative equity house, caring for two very hurt and frightened children and keeping my emotionally abusive (and once physically abusive) Not-Romeo from insisting that he has to move back in and trying to get a life of my own, so a fun, happy blog for anyone daft enough to read. Such is my nature that I would not open up, even to an imaginary public, if I did not believe that I could succeed in this task so despite the tone of the above paragraph I am very confident (mostly) of my ability to steer this broomstick to safety, babies in tow.